Action Man and Go-Go Girl

Action Man and Go-Go Girl

[fast and frenetic]

This is such a moving story that it took less time than it takes to tell.

This is the story of Action Man and Go0go Girl, the greatest of the great now people, of how they came into being and wherefore they ran and flew. It shows the way action man went to pieces, points out the place where Go-go Girl ran down and found her peace.

Action Man and Go-go Girl were dreams come true. Over now, each flew together like shrapnel fragments to a magnet. Their souls were electric and their bodies eclectic.

Action Man was an action man’s action man, and Go-go Girl, she really went, no sooner made the scene than out of sight, far gone.

They came together like natural forces of attraction and co-piloted their way about the world at fantastic speed. For the present they were both content with their perfect functioning, but one split second, Action Man said to Go-go Girl, “Now I don’t want to hassle about who’s plus and who’s minus, because we know that’s all relative. But one thing I know is together we’re like neutral.”

And Go-go Girl, although attracted to Action Man with every atom of her being, had to agree, for she knew she was nothing if not the latest, and so must keep up with Action Man’s changes, and so she said “I’m hip,” and they split up in two.

Action Man went straight away off to somewhere else, and there he met Boomerang Man, who told him, “It’s a nice trip, Action Man, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

And then he came upon where Balloon Man was up to rising, and Balloon Man explained, “The way as I see it from here . . .” but then burst.

And then at last he met Mandala Man, who simply sat still like the center of something and said, “Where’s the fire, buddy?”

“Speaking,” said Action Man, and he added to himself, “These men are nowhere, but I am where the action is.” So saying, he spun like a gyroscope on fire, ricocheted off his portable trampoline and took off on the nearest tangent.

On and on he flew, over and over, around and through, and finally, having now done almost everything, he paused in flight over a mirror-calm pond and for the first time found time to reflect.

He looked down, and lo, in looking-glass water, no one was there, and he fell into a terrible fit, like a pinwheel in a cyclone and went to pieces like a bomb.

Experts have since found him to be nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, Go-go Girl had shot across the sky like lightning, hurtled the Himalayas like a giant hopped-up jumping bean, and fully fathomed every depth and cavern measureless to man. In and out of every bag and bean she fought her whirlwind way, but alas, her glory was short-lived.

Her batteries began to run down. She was soon reduced to giving action lessons, and could dance only an occasional fandango. Quieter and quieter she became, for what could recharge her?

Now they say she sits suburbed before a television, submissively knitting a pair of little booties for her pet poodle. Informed sources say she may some day, like a freezing lizard, stop all together.

By Bill Claflin (fromĀ Messages from the Message)

The Great Dead Horse Parable


The dead horse lay quite still in the gutter.

“I am an actor,” he said.

“That’s hard to believe,” I told him.

“You lose,” he replied.

“Lose what?” I asked.

He yawned. “You are lost,” he said.

The sun was about to set.

“You can lead a horse to slaughter, but you can’t make him think,” he mused.

“That’s a misquotation,” I said.

“You are nowhere,” he said, and then he added, “Oh my God, my God, here come the flies!”

“I don’t see any flies,” I said.

“Quite possibly,” he replied. “I am an actor.”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe everything I see,” I said, and started to walk away.

But the horse, turning his head, said quite calmly, “You think you have problems. I can’t see everything I believe.”

By Bill Claflin (fromĀ Messages from the Message)